My first brush with the enigmatic Sally Mahihu is nothing short of magical. The London School of Economics and Political Science Alumni is definitely no stranger to the world. Having established a successful law firm that has been in existence for almost three decades now, and made her mark as the Founder of The Seasoned Woman – a monthly forum for women from all walks of life, her name definitely precedes her. A leading visionary with a fashion style like no other and a personality that is larger than life, Sally is definitely a force to reckon with. She greets me with the warmest smile I have seen all week, stretching well-manicured hands to me, as she beckons me to sit. We are meeting at the Seasoned Woman Centre, located in Lavington estate. It’s a short distance from the matatu (bus) terminal, making it very easily accessible for me to get there. The environment is calm and serene, like the woman before me, and for a minute, I am tempted to ask for a chaise-lounge and a pina colada, and to lean back and bask in the beauty of the environment. My thoughts are interrupted as a beautiful lady approaches me, asking me what I would like to have, to which I respond with a smile, “Coffee will do.”
When I first heard of Sally Mahihu, the words “prominent”, “famous”, “highflyer” always seemed to attach themselves to her name. However as I look at the woman before me, I am wonderfully surprised, because she is one of the most gentle spirits, humble and warm persons I have ever met. We instantly connect as she makes me feel comfortable and easy. Several hours later, we are still seated at the same spot, like long lost friends, catching up over a very long cup of coffee. It comes as a surprise to me that not only is Sally one of the most amazing souls who has a genuine passion for God, family and women, but she too has known struggle.
Like most people, Sally grew up in a somewhat dysfunctional family setup. Her parents divorced when she was a toddler and so she was raised by her father and relatives all through her early childhood, lacking the much needed emotional connection to a mother. Years later when she was in her teenage years, her mother passed on, much to Sally’s dismay. She never got to know her and this caused some emotional imbalance in her life. Growing up without a stable family setup and without much emotional support wore its toll on her, and even though she had sufficient material and financial protection, nonetheless she struggled to deal with everyday life. The clincher is when she tells me that the Seasoned Woman Forum is not for the elite, chosen women of society to gather over tea cups with hats larger than them, but for the women who have gone through the seasons of life, debt, heartache, failed relationships, bad business choices, multiple failures, name it, and yet through it all, have found a way to get up and dust themselves and are still standing. And as Sally aptly says, “A seasoned woman is one who has learnt to embrace the myriad seasons of life and to allow those seasons to sculpture and mould her into a vessel of strength, dignity and honor, until she can confidently and unapologetically say, ‘When I grow up I wanna be me.’”
Sally’s professional journey started when she was admitted to the bar as an advocate of the High Court of Kenya in December 1985, after graduating from the Kenya School of Law, where she had enrolled after she returned home from the UK with an undergraduate degree from Bristol University and a Masters in law from the London School of Economics and Political Science. She has been an advocate for 32 years since then. Her first two years saw her working at DV Kapila Advocates. After she got married in 1987, out of an act of submission she agreed to settle with her husband in Mombasa to take care of a family business there. As she settled in, she got a job at Bryson Inamdar and Boyer Advocates, a big law firm in Mombasa, and worked as a legal assistant.
Five years later, in 1993, Sally partnered with a senior counsel and opened a law firm known as Bowyer Mahihu and Co Advocates, needing the stability and wisdom of an older professional to balance her energetic zeal and drive that could often have been dangerous if not checked. The synergy was great and they complemented each other perfectly. As she looks back, she is glad she made that decision and would urge that if you were looking into starting a venture of your own, partnering with a mature, wiser and more experienced person may not be such a bad idea. It helped her greatly in developing as a professional under mature mentorship. That senior counsel later sold his shares to her as he retired, making her the sole proprietor. The firm continued to thrive and eight years later in 2001, Sally set up a second branch in Nairobi, and today she operates from both Nairobi and Mombasa.
The Seasoned Woman Forum – The Journey
I am in a Seasoned Woman forum. It’s a Saturday afternoon, and I am in the presence of women, all dressed in red and black colours. It must be the theme colour, I tell myself as I look at my surroundings. Vendors have lovely items on display. I walk towards one with natural hair products and purchase a hair butter. She promises me it will change my hair. I wonder to what actually but I believe her. I come into contact with another vendor who offers me a discounted price to have my nails done. I am a guest at the Seasoned Woman forum and there are goodies for guests! This is good. The topic of the month? Singlehood and Relationships! Surely we cannot all be single; I muse to myself and consciously wonder if there is a seasoned man forum somewhere discussing the same topic. My thoughts are interrupted as the MC walks into the podium and the forum begins. My experience from start to finish is an inspirational one, with women of great influence and power speaking to the very core of our beings. It’s like a tag team. Sally Mahihu begins as she introduces herself and what The Seasoned Woman is all about, then Pastor Jackie Othoro takes us through Single at 40 and the lessons to be learned therein. The lovely Kendi Ashitiva takes us through a personal journey on heart matters that has me cringing inside, because I have some unresolved matters. Finally Sally comes back again, giving us the final word and I vow to come back again and again, and to date, I still watch out for the forums and even pay in advance just so I don’t miss it.
Founded in 2013, Sally had just discovered how valuable mentorship was and how it had become an integral part of her life. It was interesting to also note on her part that some of the mentors who had the greatest impact on her life over the years were people she did not consciously realise were playing the role of mentor. She also thinks that perhaps they did not realise it too. These include her late father, her spiritual mentor Rev. Teresia Wairimu, and some of her professional colleagues, both older and younger than her. Her husband too makes it to the top of the list because he has provided the greatest support, and because he has a great gift of wisdom that has helped to shape her in so many areas. With this epiphany moment, she realised the importance of mentorship and the role it had played in her own life. She decided she wanted to start a mentorship program and shape the current generation, and the next generation and thus The Seasoned Woman was born!
Her vision was to provoke women in the marketplace to discover their ordained spheres of influence and become impactful voices as positive change agents. The idea was to hold monthly forums for women of all classes and make them learn from each other. Within the forum she also included a mentorship programme, a fashion label, motivational speaking, branded gift items, health spas and several other paid-for products and services. The intention is to increase and expand them. Given her passion, when she announced that she would like to start The Seasoned Woman forum, her husband who has continued to be the support pillar in all her ventures gave her the emotional and material support.
Since its inception The Seasoned Woman forum has held several forums altogether including two Gala dinners, one of which saw the First Lady, Her Excellency Margaret Kenyatta as the chief guest. The forums are held on thematic basis, and some of the themes covered to date include; the Destiny of a Seasoned Woman (the 7 P’s of Destiny), The Health and Wellness of the Seasoned Woman, The Seasoned Leading Woman, The Seasoned Mother (raising sons of strength and daughters of destiny), The Seasoned Entrepreneur, The Seasoned Woman Passion for My Nation event, The Game Changers in the Marketplace, When Sleeping Women Wake, Mountains Move event, among others; all of which have had maximum attendance with women of all age groups, professions and calibres attending.
In addition to the forums, The Seasoned Woman offers mentorship classes in the following areas: relationships, parenting, business and entrepreneurship, fashion and beauty, health and wellness, career and calling, and patriotism; adhering to their call to be a part of a woman’s holistic life. They also have a book club, for the avid readers and book lovers out there, bible study classes, foreign language lessons, cookery classes et al. including products such as the Seasoned Woman Fashion collection and the Seasoned Woman branded gift items. In short, The Seasoned Woman Centre has got you covered!
In as much as Sally Mahihu is a household name, the challenges have been there, she admits. Most surprising to her is when some people write her off and deny her financial support and opportunities on the basis that she is already privileged and that she either does not deserve or need further assistance. Another challenge has been the pressure to compromise her personal ethics, values, principles and morals, on the assumption that if you want something badly enough you should be prepared to sell your soul. This she has categorically refused to do, which has led her to lose some valuable deals and transactions as a result of taking a stand. Another challenge which she feels is important to share is the self-sabotaging patterns of behaviour, which she may not have recognized in her less mature stage. Now that she is older, she sees them and hence the reason she passionately teaches young women to be aware lest they become their own worst enemy.
Sally is an avid reader and some of the authors whose works she has absorbed have become her mentors, even though she has never met them. She considers herself to be a person who is very teachable. She really recognises gifts, talents and values in other people, and she is always willing to receive from them without discrimination in terms of their age, walk of life or race, and perhaps this is what has made her a very good mentor to many different people.
Sally wears many hats. She is a senior lawyer, an arbitrator, a Certified Public Secretary, an established entrepreneur, and a visionary. However the two most important hats that she wears proudly are those of a wife and a mother. Married for thirty years now, Sally still smiles at the thought of her husband, “and we still have very many years together,” she tells me. Together they have two adult sons. As an internationally accredited professional coach, a mentor, a counselor and a minister of the gospel in the market place, she is thankful to be living such a fulfilling life. She is a true God chaser, and she is very passionate about purpose and destiny.
Advice to Mkazi reader?
For this she gives her 7 P’s for moving from distress to destiny.
- Know your Person – your gifts and passions, strengths and weaknesses, because this will give you confidence, self-esteem and a realistic expectation of yourself. Let it be that when people say something true of you, they are simply confirming what you already know; otherwise you will be in danger of allowing others to define you with their own distorted perceptions.
- Discover your Purpose – Why were you created, or what were you created to accomplish?
- Locate your Place of assignment – Your sphere of influence, because you are not called just anywhere, but there is a specific place, where you have been gifted and graced to excel in, where you have no equal.
- Identify your People – those you are called to influence and those who are called to influence you.
- Embrace your Process – Allow the seasons of life to mould and sculpture you.
- Build your Principles – i.e your personal core values and ethics by which you live.
- Pay the Price You Need to Pay and the Pain you need to endure in becoming the who and the what you were created to be – accomplishment comes with great sacrifices and there is no gain without pain.
As we come to a close, Sally cannot help but mention her gratitude to God, for the very many opportunities that He has given her in her life, some of which she has exploited and some of which she has missed – purely out of negligence, or out of a lack of awareness at that moment or as a result of being emotionally unprepared. Above all, the opportunities she has exploited include the conducive atmosphere in our nation that has allowed her to unleash her potential as a woman. She also has taken advantage of the valuable empowerment training programmes available both locally and internationally that have enabled her to sharpen different aspects of her life. And she has experienced leadership roles in various organisations – legal, business and also social. Lastly, among the most valuable opportunities that have come her way and that she has exploited are the strong networks and connections that have opened crucial doors for her, both in her profession and business. Her parting shot is that every person should learn to embrace the various seasons of life and allow those seasons to sculpt and mould them into vessels of strength, dignity and honour… until they can confidently and unapologetically say “WHEN I GROW UP, I WANNA BE ME”.
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